Forget the penalties because penalties will be missed as they will be scored. Usually, he scores them, but this time missed one, and then he scored one. And there was all that sobbing but let’s start with the free-kicks.
Nobody is scoring direct from free-kicks these days. Of 94 goals at Euro 2024, none have been scored directly from a free-kick and only one was scored at the last Euros in 2021, and yet Cristiano Ronaldo has unyielding faith that his magical powers will prevail.
The most preposterous aspect of another gripping night of Ronaldo-based melodrama was to watch him go through the deep breathing hyper-focus routine before trying to bend one past Slovenia keeper Jan Oblak from somewhere out on the left wing.
That is the root of the argument if you want to rail against his preening narcissism and think Portugal would be better off without him or should reduce him to the big man summoned when out of ideas beyond lobbing everything into the mixer, like England with Ivan Toney.
They tried that at the World Cup in Qatar, though. It started in exhilarating style with a hat-trick by his replacement Goncalo Ramos and a 6-1 win against Switzerland but the plan collapsed as Ronaldoless Portugal lost to Morocco in the next round.
Cristiano Ronaldo had a night to forget despite Portugal’s progression to the quarter-finals
Ronaldo had his extra-time penalty saved by Oblak in extra time on Monday night
Ronaldo preposterously (bottom left) attempted to score with a free-kick from an improbable angle
When Roberto Martinez replaced Fernando Santos, his instant reward for restoring a national icon the team came in the shape of 10 Ronaldo goals in a prolific qualification campaign.
By the time they arrived in Germany, last month, they thought they had the perfect balance. That is all the uniquely positive benefits only Ronaldo can deliver with his stardust sprinkled upon a lavishly gifted collection of footballers.
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Setting standards in the camp. Ensuring young bucks neck the pickle juice and electrolytes, do the yoga moves without giggling and brave the ice bath because that is precisely the level of dedication required to plunder 130 goals from 211 international appearances.
The great challenge for Martinez was to harness the aura without letting the power of his celebrity and a massive ego determined to make everything about him crush all the other twinkling delights of Portuguese football.
This delicate balance teeters there were hints on Monday in Frankfurt, when Ronaldo’s pursuit of personal glory, more records, more acclaim, more likes, more influence, appears so directly at odds with the interests of his team.
Just like in Qatar, when his petulant flouncing seemed designed to belittle others, be they opponents or teammates or his boss Santos.
Here, in general, his body language has been more supportive and it is important to appreciate what he represents in the dressing room.
Ronaldo is a footballer beyond anything produced in England during the game’s modern era. Not only the numbers but the artistry of the goals and the ability to influence and single-handedly alter the direction of games at elite level. Look at the longevity.
Ronaldo was benched during the 2022 World Cup by then manager Fernando Santos
He has inspired and led Portugal to prominence. Yes, he was injured in the final of Euro 2016 on a night when he was bothered by moths and ended up in the role of cheerleader, but he excelled in that tournament.
There was no question his team was better with him in it. Fresh evidence of Ronaldo dragging Portugal beyond expectations at a major tournament, however, is scarce. There were key goals while eating up records and moving the Coca-Cola bottles from view in the group stage of Euro 2020.
But they were beaten by Belgium in the last 16 with debate surfacing about whether his presence stifled others such as Bernardo Silva and Bruno Fernandes.
Qatar was a mess, so you probably have to go back to the World Cup in 2018 and a hat-trick in a 3-3 draw against Spain, his third a brilliant equaliser direct from a free-kick, back in the days when he still scored from them.
That was also the summer he left Real Madrid at the age of 33. Real Madrid don’t let anyone leave unless they are happy to do so, especially not a genuine legend. And the way it unravelled at Juventus and then at Manchester United proved judgment to be sound at the Bernabeu.
It has been downhill since, albeit a decline offset by soaring relevance in social media and a load of cheap and easy goals, both in Saudi Arabia and on the international scene. His 12 goals for Portugal since the World Cup have come against Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Iceland, Slovakia, Bosnia and the Republic of Ireland.
None of this means Ronaldo is incapable of contributing anything more than theatre to Euro 2024. He remains in incredible physical shape. He can hold the ball and is dangerous in air. He can usually be trusted to score a penalty under pressure.
That together with his experience ought to still count bring something worth having but it is all about the balance.
Ronaldo has played more minutes than any other Portugal player but is yet to score despite having 20 shots across the four matches that he has played
He has played for 366 minutes in this tournament. More than an hour more than any other outfield player in Portugal’s squad, down to the start against Georgia when the group had been won and Martinez rested everyone else.
He has registered 20 attempts at goal. More than any player in any team and five more than Kai Havertz who is second on the list and has at least scored a couple.
This, together with the emotional outburst after Oblak’s penalty save, betrays his desperation.
He appears desperate to remain relevant to his team and his country. Desperate to answer those who think he endures on reputation alone and yes, desperate to enhance his personal legend by becoming the first to score in six Euros.
That would be a record to stand the test of time. Nobody else has scored in five and Ronaldo knows time is running out. He told to Portuguese TV after the Slovenia game that this would be his last Euros.
Whether or not he is not ruling out the World Cup in 2026 remains to be seen.
There would be something extraordinary about it if he were but he will only make it there as Portugal’s centre forward by helping and not hindering the team.
He has to accept the limitations. He has to let others shine and that might be beyond him. He has to stop shooting from free-kicks on the left wing, that’s the least he can do.