Week 7 of the NFL season threw us a few curveballs.
The NFL never disappoints.
San Francisco 49ers (5-1): The injuries to Deebo Samuel and Trent Williams are troubling. The 49ers’ injury luck is like the exhaust port in the Death Star.
Kansas City Chiefs (6-1): Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, and Taylor Swift might be an unstoppable trio. Even Matt Nagy can’t derail the not-so-fun Chiefs at this point.
Philadelphia Eagles (6-1): I can’t overstate how good the Eagles defense was Sunday against the Dolphins. Take a bow, Sean Desai. Statement delivered.
Baltimore Ravens (5-2): Get your Lamar Jackson MVP tickets while you still can (it might be too late).
Miami Dolphins (5-2): Miami was out-physicaled by the Eagles, had too many penalties, too many injuries, and self-destructed at the end. Vibes should still be good in South Beach.
Jacksonville Jaguars (5-2): The Jaguars just won four games in 19 days. Hell of a job by Doug Pederson.
Dallas Cowboys (4-2): The Cowboys are contenders in name only until proven otherwise.
Detroit Lions (5-2): In classic Lions fashion, just when you thought you were going to buy, they hype, they give you reason to not believe.
Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2): There’s no reason the Steelers should be 4-2, given how bad Kenny Pickett has played for large stretches of the season. And yet, here we are.
Cleveland Browns (4-2): It’s almost impossible for defensive players to win MVP, but Myles Garrett is doing his best to enter the conversation.
Buffalo Bills (4-3): OK, the Bills might be broken.
Cincinnati Bengals (3-3): The AFC is going to regret letting the Bengals find their footing.
Seattle Seahawks (4-3): Get the ball to … Jake Bobo?
New York Jets (3-3): Aaron Rodgers isn’t really going to try and play again this year, right? He’s just going to be doing Ivermectin infomercials every Tuesday with McAfee until the offseason program begins.
Atlanta Falcons (4-3): I don’t know how the Falcons won that game. Or are 4-3. What the hell is going in the NFC South?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-4): Baker Mayfield has been good enough, but the Bucs have to find a way to run the ball if they want to truly contend in a bad division.
Los Angeles Chargers (2-4): Look if Brandon Staley loses to the Bears next week, he’s got to go.
Los Angeles Rams (3-4): Matt Stafford was 8-for-12 for 154 yards when targeting Puka Nacua vs. the Steelers. He went 6-for-17 for 77 yards when targeting anyone else. *shrugs*
Indianapolis Colts (3-3): Gardner Minshew is going to make a lot of money as a gun-for-hire backup QB in the NFL. But with Anthony Richardson done for the season, the Colts might as well head to the bottom to try and get him some help in 2024.
Houston Texans (3-3): C.J. Stroud and Will Anderson are legit franchise cornerstones. The Texans gave up a lot to get both, but they appear to have nailed the evaluation. A rare win for Nick Caserio.
New Orleans Saints (3-4): New uniform, same old Derek Carr. Raiders fans know that sight all too well.
Tennessee Titans (2-4): I know I’m not supposed to doubt Mike Vrabel, but this Titans team has zero redeeming qualities.
Chicago Bears (2-5): The Bears’ defense has given up just 24 total points and four third-down conversions in the last two games. Run the ball and play good defense is their recipe for success, no matter who is under center.
Washington Commanders (3-4): Sam Howell looked lost Sunday. Speaking of lost, has Eric Bieniemy figured out that Terry McLaurin is on his team yet?
New England Patriots (2-5): Mac Jones wants people to still believe. As the last remaining member of Mac Jones Island, I have no other choice.
New York Giants (2-5): Tyrod Taylor is exactly why you franchise tag Daniel Jones after last season and don’t pay him $160 million.
Minnesota Vikings (2-4): The Vikings don’t do anything well. The only reason they aren’t 0-6 is a combination of Frank Reich and a Tyson Bagent fumble. Yech.
Las Vegas Raiders (3-4): Josh McDaniels, what is it you would say you do here?
Denver Broncos (2-5): A win in October is good for locker room morale, but not if it costs you Drake Maye or Caleb Williams.
Green Bay Packers (2-4): The only thing the Packers have done well this season is beat a Bears team that was drinking its own Kool-Aid in Week 1. Thoroughly unimpressive since.
Arizona Cardinals (1-6): I don’t see any reason why the Cardinals should play Kyler Murray this season.
Carolina Panthers (0-6): Panthers can’t lose on a bye week. Hey, some good news in Carolina.
